the day after

Hey friends… so my life has been pretty chaotic. Mercury must be in retrograde in someone’s 12th house or something because this summer has been pretty intense. If you know me, you know I’m like a duck..sitting calm on the water’s surface but kicking away underneath. I prefer staying positive…even when I really don’t want to. There’s no point in spreading negative energy into the universe. I believe I am speaking for everyone when I say there is enough negativity going on.

So anyways, two Fridays ago, July the 1st, I turned the dirty thirty. Yep. thirty. 30.

Part of me feels like I should have gotten my life together a little better by now but a bigger part of me is just glad I made it through the awkward twenties. Like, WHEW. Seriously, the twenties are tough. You’re just getting your feet wet. Figuring yourself out… you go through a lot….endure a lot. I’ve had a lot of great things happen in my twenties but we won’t get tangled in the past at the moment. Besides, the view is insane up ahead…

And I just need to admit to myself: I’ll never have my shi* together. Just being honest. I will always be pushing myself against the grain. Let’s face it, I’m not generic. I’m not a 9 to 5er, get sucked into the television for hours on end, sit on the side lines kind of girl. I’m in the middle of the mess if not the one making it…and cleaning it up. I want my cake and I want to eat it too. I like biting off more than I can chew. I am all over the place most of the time but I’m pretty happy most of the time too. I stay really busy. I am constantly making moves. I do stay on the go. That’s just me. I do think I shouldn’t be so hard on myself because life is just going to unfold for me anyways. Easier said than done.

I just re-read that last paragraph and got a little exhausted in my head. Lol I will venture to dwell on the importance of just existing. Are you with me? Existing. It’s necessary to make time to just stop making moves and just let the moves come to you…if that makes sense. I would say my favorite day of all days in a long time was July 2nd; the day after my birthday. I stayed home with my family. We played in the kiddie pool in the backyard. So simple. So perfect. So everything.

I did take it upon myself to grab the camera towards the end of my day full of “existing.” (Can’t help it…my camera is part of my existing) Here’s to the day after I turned 30. And endless days like them….. just around the river bend.